For a long time, I convinced myself my lifestyle was fine. Not great, but fine enough. I told myself everyone was tired, everyone was busy, and everyone felt a little burned out. So whatever I was doing couldn’t be that bad, right?
I stayed up way too late almost every night. Not because I was productive, but because I didn’t want the day to end. I’d scroll on my phone, watch random videos, open apps without even knowing why. Next thing I knew, it was way past midnight. Then I’d wake up exhausted and promise myself I’d go to bed earlier the next night. I never did.
Mornings were rough. I relied completely on caffeine to function. Coffee first thing. Another one later. Sometimes an energy drink if I really felt dead. I wasn’t listening to my body anymore. I was just trying to push through it.
Eating was an afterthought. I skipped meals without meaning to. Grabbed whatever was fast. Late night snacks instead of real food. I told myself I’d eat better when life slowed down, but life never slowed down.
What scares me now is how normal it all felt. Everyone around me was doing the same thing. Being tired turned into a personality. Burnout became a joke. We bonded over how exhausted we were like it meant something.
It didn’t.
Over time, everything started to feel heavier. I was irritated all the time. My focus was gone. Small tasks felt overwhelming. Even things I used to enjoy felt like too much effort. I felt anxious for no clear reason, and resting didn’t actually make me feel rested.
I kept blaming myself. I thought I was lazy or unmotivated. But the truth was, my body and brain were worn out, and I was ignoring all the signs.
Eventually, I had to admit this wasn’t just a rough phase. This was a lifestyle I had slowly built without realizing it. And it was draining me in ways I couldn’t see until I stopped.
I’m sharing this because I know how easy it is to slip into this pattern. It doesn’t feel dangerous. It feels normal. But normal doesn’t always mean healthy. This is not a lifestyle worth trying. Running on empty, ignoring your needs, and treating exhaustion like it’s just part of life isn’t impressive. It just catches up to you.
Taking care of yourself doesn’t mean changing everything at once. It just means not pretending that burnout is something you’re supposed to live with. If you’re in this cycle right now, I promise you’re not weak for feeling tired. But don’t normalize it. Learn from my mistake. Your body remembers everything, even when you pretend it’s fine.